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Discover what to do when you can’t sleep to get the rest you deserve

April 1, 2024 - 18 min read

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9 signs that you’re not getting enough sleep

What’s it like to fall asleep normally?

5 reasons why you might have trouble sleeping

How to fall asleep when you can’t: 10 tips to fall asleep quickly

Develop the sleep routine of your dreams

You turn the lights off, get into a comfortable position under the blankets, and close your eyes to fall asleep. 

After tossing and turning, you check the time on your phone and try again. You try to relax, but you can’t calm down. Perhaps you’re thinking about the unchecked items on your to-do list or feeling worn out from work. You scroll on social media to distract yourself and relax, but it makes you feel more restless. 

If this routine sounds familiar, you’re probably struggling with your sleep schedule, failing to get enough rest and sleep earlier even when you need it. But just because it’s become a regular habit doesn’t mean you can’t make a change.

Here’s a list of what to do when you can’t sleep, along with ways to create better sleep hygiene habits and rest easy.

9 signs that you’re not getting enough sleep

Sometimes, it’s hard to pinpoint why you’re not feeling your best. Perhaps you rule it out as a bad day or an irritable mood. But not getting enough sleep is common, and it can affect your day-to-day more than you realize. For adults, the CDC recommends at least seven hours of sleep per night — anything less than that can cause problems.

But according to the CDC, one-third of adults in the United States receive less than the recommended amount of sleep. And you might not even realize you’re one of them.

If you’re unsure whether your sleep habits are affecting you, here are nine signs you aren’t getting enough sleep, according to WebMD:

  1. You’re having difficulty concentrating on your daily tasks
  2. You feel drowsy and are struggling with your memory
  3. You’re yawning constantly
  4. Your skin is breaking out more than usual
  5. You feel groggy when you wake up in the morning
  6. You have dark circles or puffy under-eyes
  7. You crave caffeine and other energy-boosting foods and drinks
  8. You’ve gained weight
  9. Your mood has shifted, and you’re feeling anxious or depressed

What’s it like to fall asleep normally?

Your version of “normal” sleep might look completely different from someone else’s, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But when it comes to your individual needs, you might be so deep in poor sleep habits that it’s hard to recognize that your “normal” is no longer sustainable.

According to Healthline, the time it should take you to fall asleep at night is 10–20 minutes. If this number surprised you, you may be in the group of people struggling to fall asleep. Anything more or less than 10–20 minutes can indicate deeper issues — meaning sleeping too much or too fast also isn’t ideal.

Occasional lapses in your sleep schedule aren’t usually the symptom of something larger. Maybe you’re going through a stressful period at work or are in a new environment your body isn’t used to yet.

When those factors pass and you still can’t sleep, that’s when you should reflect on — and work to change — your routine. And if all else fails, sleep experts and coaches can work with you to figure out how to get to sleep when you can’t.

5 reasons why you might have trouble sleeping

Feeling tired during the day can negatively impact your focus at work and even put a strain on your personal relationships. And when you start each morning without energy, it’s easy to fall behind on your tasks and lose motivation to continue.

Several factors cause trouble sleeping, and knowing which affects you can help you find the right solution. Here are five reasons why you may have difficulty falling asleep:

1. Irregular sleep schedule

Going to bed and waking up at different times every day can confuse your body’s circadian rhythm, making it difficult to go to sleep when you want to. If you’re working late, waking up early to take care of family members, or staying out on the weekends, your sleep schedule might fall out of line. These inconsistent habits can lead to difficulty sleeping or larger issues like shift work sleep disorder.

2. Stress and anxiety

A report from the American Psychological Association says that people experiencing stress get less sleep on average. And on top of that, the report also states that sleeping less causes stress — leading to a potential cycle of fatigue. 

Stress and anxiety in your waking life transfer over into your sleep schedule, so pay attention to your feelings if you’re having trouble sleeping. Perhaps you wish you did better on a project at work or are waiting in anticipation of an interview. No matter the reason, those worries and unresolved emotions could be what keep your mind active at night.

3. Drinking caffeine

According to a report in the Journal of Sleep Medicine, drinking caffeinated beverages even six hours before bedtime can affect your sleep. Even if you sleep for seven or eight hours, you may wake up feeling drowsy. And when you don’t feel rested, you might drink more caffeine and stay up later. It’s another unhealthy cycle that could be behind your sleep issues.

cup-of-coffee-on-table-what-to-do-when-you-cant-sleep

4. Environmental factors

A proper sleep environment can work wonders for a good night’s rest. This means having the right temperature, comfortable bedding, and adequate darkness. If you find that sounds from your window or the sag of an old mattress are keeping you up, try to take steps to avoid those problems. They can inhibit your sleep even if you don’t realize their impact, and it’s worth it to invest in your rest.

And according to a review from the National Library of Medicine (NLM), blue light from digital devices negatively affects your circadian rhythm and suppresses melatonin, the hormone that makes you sleepy. Going on your phone before bed or working late on your computer can make bad sleep habits worse.

5. Sleep disorders such as insomnia or sleep apnea

An article from the NLM reports that approximately 10% of adults meet the criteria for insomnia disorders, and 20% experience insomnia symptoms. If you’ve tried countless remedies and are still having trouble sleeping, it’s best to contact a healthcare professional for potential treatment.

woman-sleeping-with-her-dog-during-the-day-what-to-do-when-you-cant-sleep

How to fall asleep when you can’t: 10 tips to fall asleep quickly

Dealing with poor sleep is exhausting — but you’ll never feel rested if you don’t solve the problem.

If you’re willing to open your mind and make changes to your daily routine, a good night’s sleep may be easier to achieve than it seems. Here are 10 sleep tips on what to do if you can’t sleep.

1. Exercise during the day

Your day-to-day has numerous responsibilities, and that might include spending eight or more hours a day sitting down at a desk. And even if your work is fulfilling, the effects of that stagnant lifestyle could impact your sleep.

A systematic review from the NLM shows that exercise can actually help people sleep better. It also suggests that decreased physical activity could lead to insomnia and other sleep disorders.

If you’re having trouble sleeping, try moving your body more often. Make time in your schedule to visit the gym or try something interactive like dance classes, boxing, or martial arts. Exercise is good for your mental and physical health, too.

woman-and-toddler-daughter-stretching-at-home-what-to-do-when-you-cant-sleep

2. Set a sleep schedule and stick to it

Good sleep might be easier to achieve when you create a sleep routine that works for you, whether that’s unplugging from digital devices or ensuring your bedroom is completely dark.

Try setting a strict time to go to bed and wake up every day of the week, and experiment and see what environmental factors affect you most. Although this may not always be possible when other obligations arise, having a strict schedule can help you overcome a lack of sleep when it only happens occasionally.

3. Put your phone away before sleeping

You’re not alone if you’ve ever felt restless and turned to your cell phone, tablet, or computer for entertainment late at night. It can be hard to put devices away when an algorithm that knows precisely what you like sends a steady stream of engaging content your way.

Although it can be difficult to beat a bad habit, restricting mobile phone use before bed increases sleep duration and improves working memory, according to a study from the journal PLoS One. So not only does it help you sleep better, but you’ll perform better during the day.

Try placing your phone away from your bed if you’re struggling to stop reaching for it whenever you feel restless. It’ll be easier to avoid when it’s far away and more challenging to press snooze on your alarm in the morning. And let the people in your life know they won’t be able to reach you after a certain time at night to avoid the temptation to see if someone’s responded to you.

4. Practice meditation and mindfulness

Practicing meditation and other mindful activities can help you reduce stress, focus on the present, and relax your body before sleeping.

Find what works best for you by participating in various activities such as guided meditation and yoga. Even a relaxing, quiet shower before bed could make a difference. What works for someone else may not work for you, so don’t be afraid to try new relaxing activities until you land on one you enjoy.

5. Try controlled breathing exercises

According to Frontiers in Psychiatry, deep breathing adjunct with sleep hygiene and relaxation techniques may help treat insomnia symptoms and improve your ability to fall back asleep. If you find yourself waking up at night or having trouble settling down, try some parasympathetic breathing exercises. You can try doing this throughout your day or as you lie in bed if you’re having stress-related sleep problems.

6. Only take short naps

It’s okay to nap when you don’t get enough rest at night. But the Sleep Foundation recommends naps that are around 20 minutes long and no longer than 30. This way, your body will have enough rest to feel alert but not drift into a deep sleep. 

If you need to nap, try blackout curtains during the day and drift off to calming music if you want to incorporate napping into your daily routine. Set an alarm and make sure you don’t sleep for too long. Otherwise, you might wake up feeling more tired.

7. Have a snack

Healthline says that although eating too much before bed can be unhealthy, a light snack can help your glucose levels and calm your body into sleeping. And in the morning, Healthline states, you might feel less hungry, starting your day with more energy.

Try eating a light, healthy snack or drinking a cup of decaffeinated tea before bed if you’re having trouble sleeping. Dehydration also affects sleep, so make sure you’re drinking enough water and avoiding alcohol.

8. Do relaxing activities before bedtime

Drawing the line between work and personal time can be challenging, especially if you work from home. Maybe you’re spending your time at home brainstorming for an upcoming project, or you’re feeling stressed that you’re in a dead-end job.

Participating in relaxing activities before bed can help you to live in the present moment and refocus your mind. Find hobbies that comfort you and distract you from the stresses of the day. You can try something creative such as painting, knitting, or sculpting, or spend time reading or writing.

9. Work through your stressful emotions during the day

If you lie in bed at night worrying about future obligations, you need to work through your external stressors as much as possible before bed. Workplace problems, family obligations, and personal feelings can quickly pile on one another, making it harder to slow your mind. 

Instead of distracting yourself, processing your emotions could be the right way to calm yourself down and get ready for bed. Try journaling, talking to friends and family, or working on an action plan to solve the issue.

10. Speak with a sleep specialist, consultant, or coach

Meeting with a sleep specialist is helpful if you feel like you’ve tried everything and are still having no luck figuring out how to sleep through the night. These experts treat sleep disorders such as insomnia, sleep apnea, and restless legs syndrome, which could be the cause of your problems. It might be hard to find what helps with insomnia, but talking to a sleep specialist is a great first step.

If you’re facing poor habits instead of health issues, working with a sleep coach is also an effective option. They can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses, brainstorm new nightly routines, and give you the positive mental attitude you need to keep going.

Develop the sleep routine of your dreams

If you’re wondering what to do when you can’t sleep, it means it’s time to take action. Adjust your routine by incorporating physical activity into your day-to-day, unplugging from electronic devices before bed, and setting a strict sleep schedule.

What works for your friends and family may not work for you, so don’t be afraid to get creative and try various mindfulness practices or creative hobbies. Your sleep quality matters, so don’t let it slip through the cracks.

Published April 1, 2024

Elizabeth Perry, ACC

Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships.

With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

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