Social anxiety can be a significant barrier to personal and professional growth, casting a shadow over your self-confidence and narrowing your social circles. Left unchecked, it can lead to profound feelings of isolation.
Unfortunately, the mere existence of social anxiety can make it challenging to get treatment and support. After all, how do you reach out to people for help when social interactions are the source of your stress?
Remember, you're not the only one dealing with this. Many people struggle with social anxiety. The good news is that there are ways to cope with it. Learning these strategies can help you overcome your fears and open doors to new experiences and relationships.
What is social anxiety disorder?
Social anxiety is the feeling of nervousness, fear, or discomfort in social situations. It involves worrying about being judged, embarrassed, or negatively evaluated by others, and can lead to avoidance of social interactions.
Symptoms of social anxiety
While social anxiety can manifest differently in each person, these are some common symptoms you can expect:
- Nervousness in social situations
- Fear of being judged or embarrassed
- Avoiding eye contact
- Sweating or trembling
- Blushing
- Rapid heartbeat
- Difficulty speaking
- Feeling self-conscious
- Avoiding social interactions
- Over-preparing for social events
Social anxiety vs. social anxiety disorder
Social anxiety makes people feel nervous or uncomfortable in situations involving others. It often involves fears of being judged or embarrassed. When these feelings become intense and frequent, interfering with daily life, it may be social anxiety disorder (SAD).
People with SAD often avoid social interactions, which can seriously impact their ability to function in work, school, and personal relationships. This persistent fear and avoidance can make everyday activities challenging and limit opportunities for connection and growth.
Based on diagnostic interview data from the National Comorbidity Survey Replication (NCS-R), more than 12% of US adults experience social anxiety disorder at some point in their lives.
12 tips to deal with social anxiety
Trying to manage social anxiety can be frustrating, especially if you want to be social but feel like you lack control. In addition to talk therapy and medication, there are several things you can do to manage your social anxiety yourself.
None of these strategies should be a substitute for medical advice from a qualified mental health professional. Still, being proactive about mental fitness can boost the effectiveness of therapy.
Here are 12 lifestyle changes and tips to help you deal with social anxiety.
1. Reflect on your social anxiety
Self-reflection can be a valuable tool in managing social anxiety over time. You can use a journal, meditation, or simply talk yourself through questions. These questions can help you get clear on your triggers and uncover more ways to deal with your social anxiety.
Here are a few questions to get you started:
- What specific triggers tend to heighten my social anxiety?
- How do my thoughts influence my feelings and behaviors in social situations?
- What positive changes have I noticed since implementing these strategies?
- How can I build on my successes to continue improving my social confidence?
2. Improve your sleep patterns
It may be hard to nod off when you’re feeling anxious. However, getting enough sleep is one major thing you can do to maintain healthy emotions. Sleep has long been associated with emotional regulation. Inadequate sleep patterns are associated with anxiety and impulsivity.
When you can’t get enough sleep, it can exacerbate symptoms of anxiety and depression. When your sleep hygiene is lacking, keeping up with other healthy habits is difficult. These include physical exercise, mindful eating, and staying socially connected.
3. Be aware of what you eat and drink
If you have anxiety, you might try avoiding foods and beverages that contain caffeine. Consuming caffeine may worsen certain physical symptoms, such as an elevated heart rate or upset stomach. Research shows that drinking caffeine can increase anxiety and panic attacks in people with panic disorder.
Drinking enough water can help prevent symptoms of dehydration, which may mimic anxiety symptoms.
You will also want to be mindful of your alcohol intake. Some people with social phobia rely on alcohol’s reputation as a “social lubricant” to help them stop being self-conscious. However, since alcohol is a depressant, it might leave you feeling worse. Drinking alcohol can also become a bad habit, so it’s not advisable to use it to “treat” chronic anxiety.
4. Be intentional with your downtime
When you have chronic stress, you may feel as if you’re always in overdrive. If you have social anxiety, you might feel “peopled out” relatively quickly and often. When you have time to yourself, prioritize your self-care. Do things that make you feel at ease and good about yourself to help you recover.
5. Set yourself up for success
Often, people with social anxiety are more triggered by certain situations and interactions than others. As you work on stress management techniques, see if you can do anything to shift a necessary social interaction so it’s more comfortable for you.
For example, try meeting a friend for a birthday lunch instead of hosting a party. You can also practice your social skills and work to overcome shyness with a life coach until you gain confidence.
6. Challenge your thoughts
If you’re working with a therapist, you’ll likely spend time using CBT techniques to identify and stop intrusive thoughts. Like any other new skill, CBT is most effective when you practice it consistently.
If you notice yourself worrying about what others think of you, take your thoughts to trial. Ask yourself the following:
- Is this true?
- Do I have evidence?
- Would I be judging them for this?
- What’s more likely?
Therapists often recommend keeping a journal of your automatic negative thoughts. This way, you can discuss them in your next session.
7. Practice deep breathing and relaxation techniques
Deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness meditation can help calm your mind and reduce physical symptoms of anxiety. Regular practice can improve your overall sense of well-being and help you stay grounded in stressful situations.
8. Try gradual exposure
Gradually exposing yourself to social situations that make you anxious can help desensitize you over time. Start with less intimidating situations and slowly work your way up to more challenging ones. Try these small exercises to get used to interacting with people over time:
- Participate in group sports or fitness classes.
- Start conversations with coworkers during breaks.
- Go out for your morning coffee and chat with the barista.
9. Develop social skills
Improving your social skills can boost your confidence in social interactions. Practice active listening, maintaining eye contact, and engaging in small talk. You might also consider joining a social skills training group or seeking guidance from a communication coach.
10. Set realistic goals
Set small, achievable goals for yourself in social situations. Celebrate your successes, no matter how minor they seem. This can help you build confidence and gradually reduce your anxiety.
11. Stay physically active
Regular physical exercise can reduce anxiety and improve your mood. Activities like walking, jogging, yoga, or any form of exercise you enjoy can help release endorphins, which are natural stress relievers.
12. Work with a social anxiety coach
Social anxiety coaching is a type of support provided by a coach who specializes in helping individuals manage and overcome social anxiety.
Unlike traditional therapy, which often delves into underlying psychological issues, social anxiety coaching focuses on practical strategies and skills to improve social confidence and reduce anxiety in social situations. Here are some key aspects of social anxiety coaching:
- Personalized action plans: Developing tailored strategies to address specific social anxiety triggers and goals.
- Skill development: Teaching social skills, communication techniques, and coping mechanisms.
- Exposure exercises: Gradually exposing clients to social situations to build confidence and reduce fear.
- Support and accountability: Providing ongoing support, encouragement, and accountability to help clients stay on track.
- Goal setting: Setting and achieving specific, measurable, and realistic social goals.
Social anxiety coaches typically work with clients through one-on-one sessions, either in person or online, and may also provide group coaching or workshops.
When to seek professional help
If you’re struggling with how to manage social anxiety, you might be wondering whether you need treatment and outside support. If you experience any of the following symptoms, you should find professional help:
- Avoiding school or work
- Avoiding social situations with friends and family
- Feeling like your anxiety is getting worse with time
- Using substances like alcohol to cope with anxiety at social events
- Realizing important relationships are being strained
- Feeling lonely or depressed
- Feeling like you don’t know how to manage your social nervousness
By working with a therapist or a coach and prioritizing your self-care, you can help increase your sense of safety. When you start to feel more at ease and build your self-efficacy in social situations, you won’t be as overwhelmed by your social anxiety. Like any other phobia, it can be treated and overcome.
Treating social anxiety disorder
If your anxiety is holding you hostage, you might start to wonder if your social anxiety will ever get better.
Like most anxiety disorders, social anxiety is unlikely to resolve itself without some effort. It’s usually managed with a combination of treatments such as medication and talk therapy. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, though. Here are some treatment options you may want to try and see which works best for you.
Psychotherapy
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most common and effective types of therapy to treat social anxiety. By working with a clinician, you can identify unhelpful, distorted, and anxious thoughts. Noticing these patterns can help you start challenging and replacing them. A clinician can also help you create social goals to cultivate a happy and meaningful life.
Your therapist may also want to pair CBT with exposure therapy. This is because social anxiety disorder shares many traits with phobias, which are persistent and excessive fears of an object or situation. In this case, your phobia is the fear of social situations. With exposure (or desensitization) therapy, gradual exposure to your stress triggers can help you learn to cope.
Medication
Clinicians who treat social anxiety disorders may prescribe medication to help you overcome fear and anxiety. Anti-anxiety medications include SSRIs, beta blockers, and benzodiazepines.
- SSRIs, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors: According to Mayo Clinic, SSRIs work by helping your brain keep serotonin from being reabsorbed as quickly as usual. Often, SSRIs are prescribed as antidepressants. They are also used to treat generalized anxiety disorder and other mental health conditions. SSRIs usually take a couple of weeks to start working, but they can be very effective for people living with depression and anxiety.
- Beta blockers: Beta blockers are popular for treating acute (immediate) symptoms, especially during panic attacks. They can help you manage periodic heart palpitations, sweating, and dizziness caused by anxiety.
- Benzodiazepines: “Benzos” can also halt intense symptoms of anxiety in the present moment. Benzodiazepines work by slowing down the central nervous system, which can help relax your mood. However, this medication can also cause unwanted side effects. You should always speak with your healthcare provider to determine the best medication for your symptoms.
Support Groups
Support groups for social anxiety can be especially healing. They can help you overcome the fear of interacting with and being judged by others. When you participate in a support group, you may be able to talk openly in a way you’re not comfortable with outside group therapy. Practicing sharing experiences in this way can improve social skills.
Holistic Remedies
Natural remedies that support taking care of your whole person can also help relieve social anxiety. For example, having a physically active lifestyle is associated with a 60% lower risk of developing anxiety disorders compared to the general population.
Other natural remedies to help reduce anxiety include the following:
More details about social anxiety disorder
Here are some common FAQs and resources to learn more about social anxiety disorder.
What does it feel like?
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, social anxiety disorder is an intense and persistent fear that surfaces when you’re in social settings. If you experience this type of anxiety, you may easily become embarrassed or even feel a debilitating sense of self-consciousness.
How do I know if I’m just nervous or anxious?
Many people experience nervousness in certain social situations. For example, fear of public speaking and phone anxiety are common. However, someone with social anxiety, also called social phobia, may feel so uncomfortable in group settings that they avoid them altogether.
One way to tell whether you’re experiencing common levels of stress vs. anxiety is to analyze whether your symptoms are impacting your everyday life. Stress can be normal, but anxiety can limit your participation in activities such as work or school and affect your relationships.
Is social anxiety a mental health disorder?
Yes, social anxiety is a mental health disorder that licensed mental health professionals can diagnose. In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM, social anxiety is described as a fear that’s not proportionate to the social situation or context.
Is there research on social anxiety disorder?
Social anxiety disorder was first recognized in the second edition of the DSM (DSM-II), which was published by the American Psychiatric Association in 1968. A British psychiatrist named Issac Marks first introduced the idea of classifying social phobias separately from other phobias in 1960.
How to deal with social anxiety using coaching
Ultimately, you may not get rid of your anxiety completely, but you can learn to deal with social anxiety effectively. If you need guidance getting started, consider working with a life coach.
BetterUp Coaches use evidence-based practices and virtual support to empower you to overcome barriers and cultivate resilience. Achieve your full potential in both work and life. Learn more about how coaching can help you find balance and confidence, even in social situations.
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