When you think of small talk questions, you likely think of commenting about the weather. However, small talk can go much deeper than your immediate environment. It can help you start meaningful conversations and build genuine relationships.
Small talk is a part of everyday life, whether it’s with a new colleague or someone you meet in the supermarket. However, to make your small talk more effective, you need to understand why it’s important, what kinds of questions to ask, and which topics to avoid.
What is small talk?
Small talk is a polite, casual conversation that serves no functional purpose except for starting a dialogue. It helps you quickly find common ground with people you don’t know well. The topics of conversation often have little importance and are not controversial.
For example, when you ask a grocery cashier how their day is going, you create small talk. Other common small talk topics include the weather, sports, and celebrity gossip.
Small talk questions are a great way to start a conversation with strangers. Engaging in small talk involves asking questions to get to know someone better. This is a soft skill you can practice anywhere with anyone, no matter the length of time you spend with them. You can even use small talk questions to start a conversation online.
The value of small talk
According to an article published in the Academy of Management Journal, small talk makes up about one-third of an adult’s speech. While it may seem unimportant, small talk can provide major benefits by helping you with the following:
Engaging in small talk is also a great way to overcome social anxiety. Small talk can help you build confidence in social situations by pushing you out of your comfort zone. This can help you feel ready for life’s experiences and genuine connections.
94 small talk examples for fun conversation with anyone
It’s helpful to have some go-to small talk questions in your back pocket. This way, you’ll always know how to carry a conversation when you’re chatting with someone for the first time.
Here are a few of the best small talk questions, broken down into categories, to get you started.
Small talk questions about the local area
Local questions offer an immediate way to relate to anyone who is local to your area. Try asking these questions about local events, places, and recommendations:
- Do you follow any local sports teams?
- What’s your favorite restaurant?
- Do you have a favorite band that you’ve seen locally?
- Do you serve on any local boards or committees?
- Have you been to the new stadium?
- Do you know of any cool local places to hang out?
- What do you like most about living here?
- What is different about this town than any other place you’ve lived?
- Do you play golf?
- Do you have a favorite park around here?
- Have you lived here your whole life?
- What’s one local attraction that you feel is overrated or underrated?
Small talk questions about work
Asking small talk questions about work is especially great in a professional setting, like at a networking event. Use these questions as icebreakers to help you build rapport:
- What attracted you to this industry?
- How did you find out about your role?
- How do you like working at your company?
- What’s the funniest thing that has ever happened to you at work?
- Do you work remotely?
- What would you do if you didn’t have to work?
- What’s the best career advice you’ve ever heard?
- What has surprised you most about your job?
- Are you friends with any of your coworkers outside of work?
- Does your company allow you to work from home?
- What advice would you give to someone entering your line of work?
- Do you go to a lot of networking events?
- Have you always worked in your career field?
- Do you use LinkedIn to network?
- Tell me about the best day in your role so far.
- What’s something you’ve done in your career that you’re proud of?
- What’s your dream job?
- Are there any fields you want to become an expert in?
Small talk questions about interests and hobbies
Everyone has hobbies and interests, and people generally like to talk about things they enjoy. Asking these small talk questions about interests is a great way to avoid awkwardness in any conversation:
- What do you like to do in your free time?
- Do you play any instruments?
- Do you listen to podcasts?
- Do you like to try new restaurants?
- Do you prefer fiction or non-fiction books?
- Do you collect anything?
- What’s your most unique hobby?
- What type of music do you listen to?
- What’s an activity you’d like to try?
- What’s your favorite holiday?
- What’s the most interesting book you’ve read lately?
- Do you like learning new things?
- Do you like to travel?
- What’s the most interesting place you’ve ever been?
- Do you have any hobbies you’ve been wanting to try but haven’t?
- Do you enjoy cooking?
- Do you like hiking or fitness?
- What’s the most surprising food you’ve ever tried?
- Are there any skills you think everyone should have?
Small talk questions about life
You can learn a lot about someone just by asking a few questions about their life. Here are some small talk questions you can use anywhere:
- Do you have any pets?
- How has your day been?
- If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
- What did you want to be as a kid?
- Do you have any traditions with friends or family?
- If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?
- What’s your favorite way to unwind?
- Do you prefer living in a warm or cold climate?
- If you could have dinner with any celebrity or historical figure, who would you choose and why?
- Are you interested in astrology?
- Do you have a favorite quote?
- Who would you consider your role model?
- What do you like to do on rainy days?
- If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be?
- Do you have any fun plans this weekend?
- Is there anyone you think would be fun to swap lives with?
- What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
- What’s something you want to do in the next year that you’ve never done?
- If you could travel back to any period in time, where would you go?
Small talk questions about entertainment
Asking about entertainment is a great way to connect with people. Maybe you share a favorite actor or you’ve both seen the latest episode of a hit show. Consider asking questions like these:
- What’s your favorite movie?
- What’s your favorite TV show?
- What type of music do you like?
- Do you have a favorite sports team?
- Do you like to play video games?
- What’s your favorite concert you’ve ever attended?
- Do you like playing board games?
- Do you prefer Hulu, Netflix, or a different streaming service?
- What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?
- If you could live in any fictional universe, what would it be?
- Do you enjoy going to plays?
- What’s your favorite podcast?
- Do you use social media?
- Do you have a favorite comedian?
- Do you have a favorite book series?
- What’s your favorite book you’ve ever read?
- If you had to listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would you choose?
- Do you enjoy watching documentaries?
Small talk questions about love and dating
Small talk questions about love and dating are best used when you know a few things about the person’s love life. For example, you don’t want to ask about their spouse if you don’t know whether they’re married.
Some of these questions can be more personal, so it’s best to start with more generic small talk questions unless you’re on a date or in a similar situation. Also, these questions aren’t appropriate for some settings, including in the workplace.
Here are a few questions you can ask outside of work that are related to love and relationships:
- How did you meet your partner?
- Do you and your partner do any hobbies together?
- What would your ideal date involve?
- What do you value in a relationship?
- What’s something you and your partner have in common?
- What’s the best piece of relationship advice you’ve ever heard?
- Do you think humor is important in a relationship?
- Do you know any couples who have a healthy relationship?
Why some people avoid small talk
Small talk is common, but that doesn’t mean everyone enjoys participating in it. People may choose to avoid small talk for a variety of reasons, including the following:
- They may be shy or introverted
- They may need alone time to recharge
- They may be afraid they won’t know what to say or talk about
- They may see little value in discussing generic topics
- They don’t believe it will lead to a real connection
- They may fear awkward silences
How small talk applies across cultures
Small talk questions might seem innocent to bring up with people of different cultures, but that’s not always the case. Small talk varies widely across cultures, and not all topics that Americans find appropriate are received well in other countries. Additionally, some cultures don’t like small talk at all.
For example, Sweden locals believe conversation is meant for exchanging meaningful information. Casual chatting is seen as pointless, and many Swedes will go out of their way to avoid it by not making eye contact. Swedes also value privacy and are not likely to divulge personal information with strangers.
Meanwhile, in collectivistic cultures such as India, people are much more open to sharing personal information. People from this culture are accustomed to asking personal questions about your parents, relationship status, age, and salary.
Because of these stark cultural differences, you should always consider your audience before attempting to engage them in small talk.
How to make small talk fun
At times, small talk may feel awkward and forced. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. As with learning any new skill, it takes practice to become comfortable.
Here are a few things you can do to avoid awkwardness and make small talk more engaging:
- Ask follow-up questions about the other person to keep the conversation going
- Use good body language, such as making eye contact and nodding, to appear friendly and approachable
- Make people feel good by giving them compliments
- Avoid oversharing personal information
- Ask open-ended questions that require more than a one-word answer
- Comment on a topic that’s relevant to both of you in the moment such as the food you’re eating or the occasion
Small talk questions: build better connections
Small talk questions are great conversation starters to build trust and rapport with someone new. They help you quickly learn about someone and discover shared interests, often leading to deeper, more meaningful conversations.
Harness the power of small talk with a BetterUp Coach to improve your communication and social skills.
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